Accidents in the Kitchen

Here is where I somehow managed to stab myself in the ankle with a knife. The white stuff is ointment. XD

Bridal Shower Cupcakes

Vegan Banana Nut Pancakes with Walnuts and Raspberries

Okay, I'm about to recite this entire recipe from memory, so if I happen to make a few mistakes, I'll try to make them again and let you guys know!


Ingredients
1 Cup Flour
2 Tsp Baking Powder
1 Tbsp Brown Sugar
1 Slightly Browned Banana
1 1/4 cup of Soy Milk
A pinch of Cinnamon
1/4th cup walnuts


In a medium bowl mix together your flour, baking powder, cinnamon and brown sugar. In a slightly smaller, separate bowl mash your bananas and mix it with the soy milk. Now, pour your banana-soy milk mixture into your dry ingredients and stir until combined. Not too much though! Fold in the walnuts.


Now spray your cooking pan with Pam cooking spray and put the temperature on medium. Pour pancakes one at a time to get them to come out in a nice circle.  Cook each side until golden brown.


Garnish with maple syrup, honey, raspberries, walnuts, or anything of your choosing.

Johnny's Bloody, Edible Glass Cupcakes

Well my minions, unfortunately my red velvet cake recipe is apparently famous and amazing, so I will have to keep it a secret! However, the next best recipe I can offer you is Paula Deen's recipe, which is listed below.

[Paula Deen, Ya'll]

[Vegan Alternative]

Procedure

Once you've made the cupcakes and the glass, the next step is to add the blood! First off, I mixed some light corn syrup with red and blue food coloring for a good base (About 5 parts red to 1 part blue). I then dripped the corn syrup dye over the glass and cupcakes, and darkened the color with extra red food coloring.

Candy Glass

Ingredients

• 2 cups warm water
• 1 cup light corn syrup
• 3 1/2 cups white sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

Procedure

In a medium-large saucepan, mix all your ingredients. Now you're going to want to put this on high and try to get the sugar mixture to reach 300 degrees (hard ball for all you candy making experts out there). When the sugar reaches said temperature, quickly pour it into a metal baking pan. Now leave it out to cool until it is completely hardened, then break into shards. What ever you do, don't refrigerate!! If you put this in the refrigerator it will ruin the candy glass and the glass will then begin to melt once taken out of the refrigerator.

I won't lie, this was probably one of the hardest things I've done, but probably the most fun. 

Be careful not to burn yourselves, little minions!

Johnny's Rainbow Magic Cake

Frosting
Ingredients

• 2 cups shortening
• 8 cups powdered sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup heavy cream

• 
  

Procedure
Cream the shortening in a mixer until fluffy then add the powdered sugar and mix until well blended. Now, add in the salt, vanilla and cream until fluffy.




White Cake

Ingredients

• 
  
• 3 cups sugar
• 1 1/2 cups butter
• 6 large eggs
• 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
• 4 1/2 cups flour
• 5 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 1/2 cups milk

Procedure

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and grease 6 round pans (8" or 9" it doesn't make a huge difference). If you don't have 6 round pans, then just bake a few at a time and reuse them. In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter then beat in the eggs one at a time. Now stir in the vanilla. In a separate bowl combine the flour and baking powder then add it to the butter mixture and mix well. Finally, stir in the milk until the batter is smooth.


Here's where it gets tricky! Divide the batter evenly into 6 bowls and add the food coloring to make each color of the rainbow. Now pour the colored batters into the greased pans. Unfortunately, I can't give you an exact cook time on these, since the layers are small they cook pretty fast. Once you put them in the oven keep them in for at least 8 minutes, then constantly recheck the cakes until they are done. You should be able to insert a toothpick and it will come out clean if it is done, or you may choose to lightly press on the cake and if it springs back instead of making an indent it's done.


Good luck my minions!! 

[Vegan Alternative]

Johnny's Gingerbread Centipede!!

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup molasses
• 1 egg yolk
• 2 cups  flour
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon cloves
• 1 teaspoon fresh ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

• 
  
• Procedure
• 
  
• In a bowl cream together the margarine and sugar until smooth, then stir in molasses and egg yolk. In a separate bowl, mix the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and nutmeg. Now, blend it into the molasses mixture until smooth. Cover this and stick it in the refrigerator for at least an hour, if not more.

Once removed from the refrigerator set your oven to 350 degrees. On a lightly floured surface roll out your dough to about a quarter of an inch thick. Cut into your gingerbread centipede shape and place onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes until firm. Let cool then decorate with icing and rains, among other things of your choice!

[Vegan Alternative]

Johnny's Pink Lemonade Mother's Day Cake

Ingredients
Butter Cake

• Seriously guys, not that I'd recommend to do this often, but use a boxed butter cake mix for this and just add food coloring. Make sure it's a butter cake mix, not any other kind, or it won't taste as good. The rest of this cake takes too much time itself, so you wouldn't want to have to make a cake from scratch on top of that.

Lemon Curd

• 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (Trust me, it makes a difference, don't use any pre-squeezed stuff.)
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 4 egg yolks, beaten
• Pink food coloring

In a bowl whisk the egg yolks until smooth and set the bowl to the side. Now, in a pot mix together lemon juice and cornstarch until smooth and no chunks are left, then put in the butter and sugar. Bring the mixture to a boil in the pot over medium heat. Once it boils, stir non-stop for one minute. Here's where it gets tricky! You'll need to temper the eggs so you don't get scrambled eggs in your curd! You want to take a tiny amount of your boiling mixture and pour it slowly into the eggs, then pour the eggs into the mixture in the pan, whisking rapidly until fully combined. Bring the temperature down to low and stir non-stop for 5 whole minutes. At some point in this stirring process add in the pink food coloring.Stick this in the refrigerator for about an hour or two until the lemon curd sets.

Lemon Frosting

• 2 cups confectioner's sugar
• 1/4 cup butter at room temperature
• 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice (Yes, use fresh, nothing else!)
• 1 tablespoon whole milk
• Pink food coloring.

In a bowl mix confectioner's sugar, butter, and lemon juice until smooth. If milk is needed then add it in slowly as you beat the ingredients until the texture is light and fluffy. Don't forget to add in the pink food coloring!

Flowers

I just used boxed fondant to save time, I made the roses white then brushed them with a pink edible glitter then left them to harden overnight.

Johnny's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pie

Ingredients

1 unbaked pie crust

2 eggs

1/2 cup flour

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1 cup butter that has been melted, then cooled to room temperature

1 cup chocolate chips

Procedure

Ready for how easy this is? Turn your oven on to 325, then in a large bowl, beat the eggs until they become foamy. Now, beat in flour, white sugar and brown sugar until it is blended, then pour in the melted butter, once again, make sure it is cooled! (You don't want scrambled eggs in your pie!). Fold in the chocolate chips and pour it into the pie shell. Put it in the oven for an hour and you're done!

Johnny's Homemade Nutella Pop-Tarts

Ingredients
Pastry
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup butter
1 large egg
2 tablespoons milk


Filling
1 tablespoon per pastry Nutella


Procedure

Pastry

Mix the flour, sugar, and salt, then work in the butter with your fingers until the mixture holds together when you squeeze it. Whisk the first egg and the milk together in a small bowl and stir them into the dough, mixing everything until it is cohesive. Now, divide the dough in half and shape each half into a rectangle. Trust me, I hate doing math, but you will need a ruler to make this perfect! You want this to be about 1/8th an inch thick. You will be wanting to cut 9, 3 inch by 4 inch rectangles (I almost said squares! Oh, geometry). Beat the other egg and brush it over the entire top surface of 1/2 of your pastries, this will be the inside of your tart; the egg acts like a glue to keep them together. Place a tablespoon of nutella into the center or each egg brushed rectangle and spread it out so you have a 1/2-inch bare perimeter around it. Place the eggless rectangles on top of these now and using your fingertips press around the perimeter that does not have nutella.  Now take a fork and press down around the perimeter and create little grooves to hold the pastry together.

Carefully lift each of the pop-tarts on a greased baking sheet. Take a toothpick and poke holes in each pop-tart. If you don't do this, than steam can't escape while the pasty bakes and the pop-tarts may  become billowy pillows or exploded messes. Now, place the tarts in a refrigerator for a half hour. This step is very important, don't skip it! Once you take the tarts out of the refrigerator place them in an oven set to 350°F.


To make this vegan use a store-bought vegan pie crust. I believe Pillsbury's pie crust is vegan. Also, they sell vegan versions of nutella in a lot of places including Whole Foods.

Johnny's Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, room temperature
• 1 cup light brown sugar
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 1/2 tablespoons creme de menthe liqueur (may need more for flavoring)
• 3 cups flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 3 cups chocolate chips

Procedure

Heat oven to 350. In a large bowl, cream together butter, brown sugar and white sugar. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the creme de menthe. Combine flour, baking soda and sea salt and stir it into the mixture. Fold in the mint chocolate chips. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 8-10 minutes.

Johnny's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Mousse

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/3 cup light brown sugar
• 8 ounces of cream cheese
• 1/2 cup powdered sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• A tiny pinch of cinnamon and/or nutmeg
• 3/4 cup chocolate chips

Procedure
Melt the butter in a small pan on medium heat. Once melted, add brown sugar and stir until it completely dissolves. In a bowl, Mix together cream cheese and powdered sugar for about a minute on low speed. Now add the brown sugar and melted butter mixture and mix on low speed until combined. With a spatula, fold in the chocolate chips.